


There you are, and I run.

by SpookyFaces



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Drinking, Family Problems, Liam is a big boss with attitude problems, M/M, Niall is a Good Friend, Suicide Attempt, and zayn is abused little boy who needs love and protection, larry - Freeform, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-17 03:13:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16966608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyFaces/pseuds/SpookyFaces
Summary: There is something surreal, something head-spinning about a thought of ruling the world. Or, at least, an underground world of the city. And Liam has been fighting hard for years to get on top of every single asshole around him, to kneel everyone under his gaze. A few corpses, drug deals and robberies only helped him on his way.But then, under the dull lights of street lamps, he stumbles upon something that changes his perspective of life.Somebody, with sad eyes and an urge to die, who manages to soften his stone-heart and crawl inside of it.And maybe Liam realizes there is only one world he needs to rule. The one he found in honey-colored doe eyes. His own world.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning for mentions of abuse, blood, violence, killing and other heavy stuff. stay safe, loves.
> 
> liam is 25 and zayn is 18. 
> 
> this work is fiction and has no connections with reality. just in case. yeah

The cigarette burns against his lips, sending waves of hot smoke inside his lungs. The burning sensation crawls down his throat, signaling his trembling body to calm down, stay steady, _breathe._ Years of experience taught him not to trust anyone but himself. But still, until this day, he makes a mistake of trusting people around him with something important, something worthy and it always fucks things up. 

Liam drags from the poisonous stick resting between his lips and exhales shakily. He leans back on the bricked wall and closes his eyes. Neon lights above his head spell the word **EXIT** , metal door beside Liam muffles the sounds of electronic music coming from the club. Anger runs in his veins, spreading like metastasis and sending his every atom on fire of fury. 

Phone buzzes in the pocket of his skinny jeans and Liam fishes it out, answering the call with no hesitation.

_"Liam._ " - The familiar voice says shakily on the other side of the line. _"Look, we-Jordan tried to reach the dealer. His phone's off, place empty. His people are gone, disappeared into thin air and we-"_

"Leon." - Liam cuts the man's rumbling off with a calm voice, even though anger burns his insides. "Leon, listen to me, yeah?" 

_"Yeah. Yeah, sure, you-you're the boss." _\- The man laughs awkwardly, obvious tension seeking through the phone line._ _

__

"You had one job, Leon." - Liam hisses, his hands twitching from nerves as he pulls away the cigarette. "One fucking job. Find the man, get the stuff we need from him, get rid of him. What did you do instead?" 

__

_"Liam, I-"_

__

"What did you fucking do, Leon?!" - Liam growls, The darkened street helps to hide and dissolve his angered tone through the night air. 

__

__"I failed._ " - The man admits quietly. Liam kisses his front teeth and shakes his head. _

"You know I hate failures, Leon. Failures make me angry. And it's sad, because you were a good man, Leon. A loyal, good man-" 

_"No, no, Liam, look man, I-"_

"-Good bye, Leon. See you in hell." 

Leon tries to protest, say something in defense but his voice gets caught by the noise around him. Liam hears the man swearing, trying to scream but a familiar, banging sound manages to cut him off. Liam waits as the phone gets picked up by someone else. 

_"Done, boss. He's dead._ " - Another voice tells Liam. 

Liam throws the cigarette down on the ground, steps on it and pulls away from the bricked wall. It starts to rain. Small droplets of water land on Liam's leather jacket and buzzed hair. 

"Good." - He mumbles through the phone. "Take care of the body." 

He hangs up and hides the phone back in the pocket. He strides down the street, club long forgotten behind him. He decides to come back tomorrow to collect his money from the owner, tonight his nerves were working against him. He walks down the narrow street as it rains on Liam and everything around him. He leaves his Harley bike near the front entrance, not risking his own life by driving with anger running through his veins. 

His head is full. He had killed off third man this month, all because he decided to trust them too much. It's his fault Leon and other two are dead, because he gave them jobs they could not complete. He decides to get rid of unnecessary people in his gang. He needs to meet up with Louis and collect all information about his men before deciding who stays and who gets kicked out before the need of killing them appears. 

The world around him gets drenched wet from the rain. Trees stand high on the edges of pavement, heavy leaves leaning down towards the cold asphalt. Liam walks, ignoring a white noise in his head. Too much thinking never brought anything good to him. 

He is about to turn down the familiar path towards his house when he hears a strange sound from behind his back. Liam turns around quickly, his reflexes waking up in his body. Fingers curl around the small knife hidden in his back pocket as he glances around the dark street. He hears the sound again. 

It's a sound of quick footsteps approaching him. Liam stays frozen on spot, waiting for the stranger to near him. The footsteps stop right behind him, probably a few meters away from Liam. Liam doesn't turn around, instead he continues to wait for what happens next. 

"Sorry?" - A voice calls him. It's barely audible because of the rain, but it reaches Liam. "Do you have light?" 

Liam inhales and turns around on his heel, fingers still curled around the metallic object. He's met with a boy, few inches shorter than him. He's got a hood draped over his head, that sends shade over his face. He is thin, figure slender and lanky. The boy shuffles from one feet to another, not lifting his head to let Liam see his face properly. 

"Yes, I do." - Liam responds. He pulls out a lighter from his pocket and hands it to the boy. 

The boy's shaky fingers grab the lighter. Liam waits for the boy to light up a cigarette or whatever he wanted to smoke, but instead, suddenly, the boy takes a step back and with a quick motion pulls out a small gun and points it forward, right at Liam's chest. 

"Give me your wallet." - The boy orders, but his voice sounds shaky and strained. 

Liam doesn't move. He stares at the gun pointing at him and cocks his head to the side slightly from surprise. How ironic is it? He, _Liam fucking Payne,_ one of the biggest drug-dealers of his city, the man who has killed dozens of people, is getting mugged in the street. He lets out a laugh from the thought. It seems to startle the boy. 

"What's so funny?! I said give me your wallet!" - The boy repeats louder, but his voice only shakes harder than before. 

Liam sighs and shakes his head. With no hesitation, he grabs the boy's gun easily, drags it away from the long fingers and curls his own fingers around the thin wrist. The boy lets out a quiet gasp and tries to wiggle out from his touch, but Liam's grip only hardens and he whimpers like a kicked puppy. 

"How unfortunate for you, little boy." - Liam says calmly. "How unfortunate that you met _me_ , out of all the people in this shitty city." 

"Please,-" - The boy whimpers as Liam sends him down to his knees with one single push, still holding him by the wrist. 

"You wanted to take my wallet? Wanted to rob me?" - Liam laughs and shakes his head. He grabs the boy's chin roughly with his hand and forces him to look up. His other hand uncurls from the boy's thin wrist and he pulls away the hood from his head. 

Big, doe-like eyes snap up at him. They are full of fear, but that's not what freezes Liam's blood. Even through the darkness of the night Liam manages to see the boy's honey-colored orbs. His long, unbelievably long eyelashes frame his almond-shaped eyes, sending dark shadows over his sharp cheekbones. His plump lips are gaping up at Liam, dark, wet curls fall down the boy's perfectly sculpted face. 

Liam stares, probably for too long, because the boy lets out a strangled sob that snaps him back to reality. 

"I'm sorry." - The boy whimpers. "Please, let me go. I-I'm sorry-" 

"Quiet." - Liam hisses and it seems to shut the boy up. He continues to stare up at Liam with his beautiful eyes. "How old are you?!" 

He didn't mean to ask it. He just did. He asked. He wants to know. 

"I-I'm eighteen." - The boy answers instantly. "Please, don't take me to police station. I can't-They won't let me out this time." 

_This time._ So it's not the first time the boy has done something like this. Not the first time he's been caught, either. 

"I'm not going to bring police into this." - Liam huffs a laugh. "I can manage to deal with this on my own." 

The boy gulps and stares up at Liam. 

"Are you going to kill me?" - He whispers, quietly and shakily. 

Liam is about to give an answer, but something stops him. The look in the boys eyes. It's not fear, not anymore. It looks more like hope. Like the boy hopes Liam nods, then points a gun at him and blows his brains out. Like the boy hopes Liam kills him, the way he kills most of the people, the way he would definitely have killed someone else in this scenario. But not this boy. _Not him._

"Do you want me to kill you?" - He asks instead. The boy hesitates, eyes never leaving Liam's face. 

"Maybe?" - The answer is so quiet, it's almost unheard. But Liam does hear it. 

And for the first time in years, something manages to break Liam's heart. He doesn't think twice. He pulls the boy up on his shaky legs, ignoring his protesting whimpers. 

"Name." - He says with a cold voice. 

"Z-Zayn." - The boy whispers, obviously surprised and confused from the question. 

"Zayn." - Liam repeats, trying the name on his tongue. "Where did you get the gun, Zayn?" 

"Stole it from my dad." - Zayn answers automatically. 

"Why did you steal it?" - Liam continues his interrogation. 

"Wanted-Needed some money." - Zayn whispers. 

"What for?" 

Zayn doesn't answer. He stares down at his feet, avoiding Liam's cold gaze. A strand of hair falls down on his face and, like following an instinct, Liam reaches his finger to brush it away. 

Zayn flinches, squeezing his eyes shut as if he's waiting for Liam to hit him, or hurt in some other way. Suddenly, it dawns on Liam. He freezes, hand hanging above Zayn's face as he examines the boy quickly. _Thin, too thin for his height. Dressed in too many layers. Shadows under his eyes. A nasty cut on his forehead. Small bruises all over his neck. Bloodied knuckles._ It doesn't take him too much time to stick the pieces together. 

His hand falls down and Zayn slowly disconnects his long lashes when nothing comes. He blinks and looks up at Liam, scared and frightened. He looks small, so fucking small and lost that Liam gets an urge to wrap his arms around the boy and shield him from the outer world. 

"How often?" - He asks, nodding towards the bruise on Zayn's neck. Zayn seems to catch the look on his face and get what he means. 

"Almost every day." - He responds. "He hates me. And that-that's fine." 

Liam nods. He grabs Zayn's hand then and drags the boy as he walks down the street. Zayn lets out a surprised yelp, but follows him without a fight. 

"So he won't mind if you disappear from his life." - Liam says. 

"What-Please! Where are you taking me?!" - Zayn asks, voice quivering from fear. "You can't go to police, I-" 

"I've already said I won't bring police into this. So shut your mouth." - Liam cuts him off as he drags Zayn after him. The boy has to run to catch up with his big steps. 

"Why don't you just kill me?!" - Zayn wails suddenly and it stops Liam from walking. "From the way you grabbed my gun I can tell you're familiar with using it. Just kill me and make it easier for us, yeah?! I can't-Just, get over with it!" 

Liam inhales, fury filling him up. He turns around and looks at Zayn with an angry expression that forces Zayn to take a step back and swallow hardly. 

"You want me to kill you? Is that what you want, kid?!" - He asks slowly with an intimidating voice. 

"You should. It'd be easier." - Zayn responds quietly. 

Liam agrees. It really would be easier. So he pulls out a gun he grabbed from Zayn earlier with a quick, easy motion and points it right at Zayn. And Zayn, _this stupid, reckless boy,_ he doesn't even flinch. He stares at Liam with his big, bloodshot eyes full of gratitude, as if he's thinking _finally._ Liam cocks the gun, and points it right between Zayn's eyes. But the boy continues to simply stand there and stare at Liam. 

Liam's hands shake. They have never shook while holding a gun. And right now, they are trembling like leafs in cold wind. 

He cusses and pulls the gun away. The look in Zayn's eyes changes from hope to disappointment. 

"I can't kill you" - Liam realizes, shocked from his own thought. Zayn gapes at him surprised. "You-What the fuck are you doing to me?" 

Zayn exhales shakily, not knowing what to say, other than- 

"I'm sorry." 

And he manages to break Liam's heart once again. So he puts the gun away into the pocket of his leather jacket and steps towards Zayn, stopping inches away from the smaller boy. 

"You're coming with me." - Liam decides. 

He looks at the way smaller boy shakes under the rain, shivering and shuffling from one foot to another. Liam huffs, then shrugs his leather jacket off quickly and throws it around Zayn's shoulders. The boy tries to protest but the look in Liam's eyes stop him. Instead, he hangs his head low and wraps an oversized jacket around him.

"Let's go." - Liam sighs. "I have plenty of hot drinks at home." 

Something lights up in Zayn. His eyes snap up at Liam, who slowly starts to walk down the familiar street. 

"Hot chocolate?" - Zayn asks quietly as he tries to catch up with Liam. Corners of Liam's mouth curl up slightly, but he chooses to ignore it. 

"Yeah. Yeah, some of that shit too." - He says. "And then you'll tell me why you stole that fucking gun and why your folks don't care if you get shot in the streets." 

The rain falls down heavily around them. Tonight, something woke up in Liam. Something he can't name properly. He won't even try to. Instead, he glances down at Zayn, wrapped in his leather jacket, and lets his own heart beat peacefully. Probably, for the first time in many years, Liam can't wait to get home and make some hot chocolate. And that- 

That's new. And he decides to take care of that feeling. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all the members of the boys' gangs and families are fictional.

Liam was 17 when he had his first deal. It was a pretty simple one if he looks back at it now. He had to bring a suitcase filled up with cocaine to the club downtown and hand it to one of the bosses. He was different back then. He was a child, scared of the ways the world around him worked. But he knew he had to obey everything he's been told to do, in order to survive.

Liam didn't find the boss in the club in time. Instead, he met a few members of the rival gang, the one Derek warned him about and left the club covered in bruises and cuts with no suitcase. He was scared to go home, scared to be met with Derek's rage. But the man only shook his head disappointed and sighed.

 _"It's my fault i've trusted you with something you weren't ready for."_ \- The man told him as he put bandages on his cuts. _"When your people mess up - you're the one to blame, not them, because you've trusted them in the first place."_

Back then, Liam thought these words would mean nothing to him when he grows up and becomes the leader of this underground world. He thought he would have everything under control and he wouldn't need to listen to the old man's words. Heavens knew he was wrong.

Derek raised Liam to become the right man. He was six when the man found him. Or, to be more exact, he was six when his parents got shot by Derek's men and he was left alone, with no family or relatives. His father was a pathetic man who betrayed his own kind and let his own people die for his wealth. So Derek payed him a visit and shot him in his bed, along with his slutty wife, who gave birth to Liam. The woman never cared about Liam or his father, only money and everything else the man had behind his name. Derek took George Payne's offspring under his wing and taught him everything he knew. How to fight, how to shoot, how to kill. 

Deal after deal, Liam was getting better in doing his job and at the age of twenty he was one of Derek's best people. And he was the closest thing the man had to family. Maybe that's why he held Liam's hand while laying on his deathbed and handed him the keys to everything he owned. He gave the throne to Liam and Liam kept the throne, never losing a grip. Everything Derek has taught him became his way of survival and staying on top. 

But Derek never told Liam what to do when you find something that softens your heart. Derek never explained anything like _this._

Liam glances at the boy, who is sitting on his couch, wrapped in one of Liam's old, fuzzy hoodies. He sips from the huge mug he is holding with long fingers and swallows the hot liquid with a soft look on his face. The boy's eyelashes flutter as he looks up at Liam, catching his gaze on him.

"Thank you." - Zayn mumbles and lifts a cup. "It's really delicious."

"I need you to answer me every question I ask you." - Liam says in a low voice that visibly tenses Zayn. "Trust me, you don't want to test my patience."

Zayn gulps as he stares up at Liam, who drags the chair in front of couch and sits on it, looking right at Zayn.

"Why were out so late?" - He asks calmly.

"I've told you, I needed some money." - Zayn whispers. "I needed some cash for-for some food."

"Why did you think it would be a good idea to steal your father's gun?"

"He doesn't care." - Zayn shrugs a shoulder. "He was asleep, drunk and out of his mind."

"What if he finds out you stole it?"

"It's too late now, isn't it?" - Zayn mumbles. "I-I wasn't just out for a walk, you know."

"What's that supposed to mean?" - Liam asks confused.

"I ran from home." - The boy whispers shakily. "I never planned on going back."

Liam stares at the boy quietly. He stares at the way Zayn taps his long fingers on the warmed surface of the mug. The way his brows scrunch for a moment, before going back to the steady look, or facade, to be more exact. Liam gets up from the chair and starts pacing around the room, head filing up with thousands of thoughts. Liam didn't expect this.

He expected Zayn to beg him to let him go, back home to his family. He didn't expect to be met with calm, unemotional surface that the boy gives him.

"Why did you run from home?" - Liam finally asks. He stops pacing and stands in front of Zayn, leaning back on the wall.

Zayn stays quiet for a moment, looking as if he is trying to collect words in his head.

"I didn't feel safe." - He tells Liam after minutes of silence. 

"Do you feel safe now?" - Liam presses. "Here, in unknown place with an unknown man you've tried to shoot? You don’t even know my name. I could be a psychopath, a sadist with a kink of torturing pretty little boys."

Zayn's eyes snap up at him instantly. Liam tries to read fear in them, but fails. There is nothing in them. _Nothing._

"Your name doesn’t matter to me. And even if you were a psycho, I'd still feel safer here than back home." - The boy responds. "And I'm flattered that you think I'm pretty."

Liam feels the way his cheeks heat up suddenly. His eyes grow wide and he straightens, pulling away from the wall. He has never felt this way, his face is getting flushed and he fucking feels it. He opens his mouth to say something, but his own vocal cords give up on him when Zayn sends him a small smirk. Shit. _Fuck._

He shakes his head, getting rid of all the unwanted thoughts and approaches Zayn.

"Can you fight, Zayn?" - He asks suddenly.

Zayn shakes his head.

"Do you know how to use a gun?" 

The boy stays still for a moment, then shrugs and looks up at Liam.

"I thought I'd figure. Thought it would be easy." - He says. 

"Using gun isn't easy. Neither is shooting someone. Do you want to know what was your first mistake?"

Zayn blinks at him in anticipation.

"You didn't defend yourself." - Liam tells the boy. He kneels in front of the couch to be on the same eye-level with Zayn. "You've pointed a gun at me, but didn't think about defending yourself in the first place."

The boy continues to stare, so Liam talks more.

"Second mistake: you didn't get enough grip on your weapon. Aim is important, but the hold comes first." - Liam slowly takes one of Zayn's hands in his and turns it so he can touch the boy's palm. He drags his finger across the small lines on Zayn's palm. "You hold the gun, pressing it right in the middle of your palm, gripping it with your fingers."

Zayn lets out a shaky breath while Liam continues to trace his skin with his steady finger.

"You squeeze it, as if your whole life depends on that grip. Because it does." - Liam continues. He stops touching Zayn's palm and lets go of the boy's hand. He dares to look at Zayn, who is staring right at him with his doe eyes.

"Can I tell you what's your mistake?" - Zayn whispers suddenly. He leans forward, face inches away from Liam's and it spins Liam's head for some unknown reason.

"Go on." - He nods calmly.

Zayn nears him even more, his hot breath hitting Liam's skin. It sends shivers down the man's spine, melts his brains like a direct ray of some ultralight. Liam can't force himself to move or do anything other than stare into the boy's deep eyes that remind him of perfectly stirred whiskey. He feels Zayn's fingers touching his jawline, tracing it slowly and gently. His breath gets caught in his lungs, because Zayn is closer than before and there are only a few millimeters between them.

 _"You let the pretty little boy play with your mind."_ \- Zayn whispers.

Before Liam can do or say anything, Zayn bolts up from his seat, steps aside and grabs Liam from the back, curling one of his hands around the man's neck while pressing the other one right into his stomach.

"Boom. One slice with a knife and done, you're dead." - The boy whispers into his ear as he drags his fingers across Liam's stomach. 

Liam tries to pull away, but Zayn releases him quickly and steps back with arms crossed on his chest. Liam stays glued to the floor as he gapes at the boy in front of him while trying to catch his breath.

"I may not know how to fight or defend myself," - Zayn says quietly. "But I know how to use my appearance as my advantage."

"You-You've done _this_ before?" - Liam breathes and touches his own neck shakily.

"Had to." - Zayn shrugs a shoulder. "A lot of people have tried to touch me when I didn't want to be touched. Sometimes _this_ works."

"And other times?" - Liam dares to ask.

"Other times they're too strong for me." - Zayn responds with a calm voice.

And once again, his eyes radiate nothing. Zero emotions, complete emptiness and numbness. He stands there, in the middle of Liam's living room with arms crossed on his chest and calm look on his face. He is nothing like Liam was at his age. He is collected, calm and steady. And Liam realizes that is not a good sign, because he knows what kind of people don't show or feel anything. The people who have seen too much. 

And Zayn, this reckless, stubborn and _fucking beautiful_ boy has obviously seen too much in his short life. And maybe that's why he doesn't try to defend his life, instead he throws himself right into the danger. Danger called _Liam Payne._

"You don't care if you live or die." - Liam says out loud, stating a fact. "That's why you don't give a single damn about what happens to you."

"Probably." - Zayn agrees. "Why, you think you can give me something to give a damn about?"

Liam blinks at the boy. He stares at him, examining his olive-tanned skin, dark curls, deep eyes and finally decides what to do.

"I'll give you something that will give you a reason to crave life, Zayn." - He tells the boy. 

"I'd like to see you try." - Zayn takes a step forward and looks directly into Liam's eyes, smirking at him. "One week. I live with you and in one week you give me that _reason,_ show me why I should stay alive. And if you fail - I'll throw myself out of your stupidly decorated balcony. And I don't give a single damn about ruining expensive cars parked underneath it."

Zayn walks past Liam, their shoulders brushing for a moment and disappears from the room. Liam stays glued to the spot, eyes wide and lips parted.

This boy gave him an ultimatum. _Him,_ Liam fucking Payne. The king of the underworld of the whole town. An ultimatum that burns Liam's insides. Because failing and letting Zayn die scares him and that-

And that fear is way stronger than the one he felt all those years ago, in the club with a suitcase full of cocaine in his hands.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zayn meets louis. 
> 
> liam meets a dilemma.

"Once again, how exactly did you become a babysitter?" - Louis asks casually from where he sits on the kitchen counter and sips his tea. Liam has to internally stop himself from strangling the boy probably for the third time today.

"I've already told you, I found him in the street. He tried to rob me." - Liam answers.

"He tried to rob you, so you've decided to bring him home. I always knew you were a smart kid, Liam, but you outdid yourself this time." 

"Louis, you don't want me to shove that cup up your little ass, do you?!" - Liam hisses as something finally snaps in himself.

He knew this would happen. He knew Louis would make fun of him, call him an idiot and probably try to get rid of Zayn. He and Louis have been friends for years, ever since Derek brought Liam home and introduced him to his men's sons, Louis and Harry. From the moment Louis' face broke in grin as they shook hands, Liam knew their bond would last for years.

Louis was a loud kid. He was arrogant, annoying, nerve-wrecking kid who wanted all of the attention in the room. He was also the best shooter, not that Liam would ever admit that out loud. There was nothing in the whole world that could mess with Louis' head. Well, almost nothing..

When Liam first met Harry, he was sure the kid wouldn't last too long in the world they lived in. _Harry,_ the naive, kind, gentle kid with huge green eyes and chestnut curls. Liam thought he would get killed on his first deal and nobody would be able to prevent it. But then one arrogant, annoying kid decided to protect the curly one with his whole existence. And that's how _Harry and Louis_ happened. Two of them are inseparable, and if anyone ever tries to hurt Harry, they won't outrun Louis' bullets. Not that it's easy to hurt Harry these days. The boy outgrew his slender body. If anything, Harry could break your spine with a snap of his fingers. But inside, he's still the same soft kid and Louis always takes care of that kid.

"First of all, my ass isn't little." - Louis snaps back. "And second - you don't know the kid, Liam. He could be a _Black Mamba_ spy. Remember Black Mamba? Yeah, the gang that's been trying to kill you for almost a decade? It would be a great idea for them to use this kid as a weapon-"

"Louis, he doesn't even want to be here." - Liam sighs.

"What?! You're holding him hostage?!" - Louis gasps.

"No. I mean-he doesn't even care if he's here or out in the streets. He doesn't even give a damn wether he's dead or not. Do you know what he did when I grabbed a gun from him? He begged me to kill 'im. Fucking shoot him right in the forehead. The kid's not a spy, Louis. I'm not even sure if he's gonna stay alive for too long."

Louis blinks at him, still holding a cup of tea in his hand. His brown feathery hair falls down on his face, covering the ocean-blue eyes and a sudden soft look in them. 

"You're a goner, aren't you, Liam?" - He finally asks. "You care for the kid."

"He's a human." - Liam snaps. "Of course I care."

"You've killed and shot too many people to use that as an excuse."

"I've killed drug-dealers and psychopaths. Not abused, suicidal kids with doe eyes."

"Doe eyes, huh?" - Louis smirks knowingly.

"Shut up, Louis."

Louis opens his mouth to sat something back, but his voice gets caught off as he catches something with his eyes. _Someone_ , to be more exact. Thin, raven-haired boy wrapped in Liam's huge hoodie strides into the kitchen slowly. Without any words said, he grabs the lighter from the kitchen table. He's got a cigarette sticking out from behind his ear. He glances at Louis for a second, then at Liam, and walks out of the kitchen.

Louis gapes at the spot where Zayn stood for a moment, then looks up at Liam.

"Okay, he's a good-looking bloke, not gonna lie." - He mumbles.

"Don't make me call Harry."

"Oi, shove off." - Louis whines. "Hazza's in Argentina on a deal, you won't reach his phone. But you know I'd never cheat on my man."

"Whatever."

"You know what? I'm gonna go talk with your kid." - Louis jumps down from the counter and puts a cup on top of it before padding out of the kitchen. Liam gets a feeling it won't end well, he's known Louis for too long. So he sighs annoyed and follows the man.

They find Zayn on a balcony, and Liam's heart misses a beat when he remembers Zayn's ultimatum that involves this exact balcony. The boy is leaning on the railing with his back, smoking peacefully and looking up at the night sky. Liam knows the view from his apartment is spectacular, he can't blame Zayn for choosing this as his smoking spot.

Louis flops down on the floor beside Zayn and grins at him. Liam stands near his friend, ready to strangle him if needed.

"Hey." - Louis says. 

Zayn cocks his head at him, brows raising.

"Hello." - He responds.

"So, let's get this straight,-" - Louis inhales and prepares to rant. "You've stumbled upon Liam, out of all the people in this town, in the street at night. Tried to rob him - failed. Tried to shoot him - failed, once again. Then tried to make _him_ shoot _you_ \- surprisingly, failed again. You're a complete failure, aren't you?"

Liam's chest fills up with anger. He fists his hands and tries hard not to throw Louis out of the balcony. But Zayn huffs a quiet laugh at his words and shakes his head. He glances up at Liam then.

"I like him." - Zayn tells Liam. He looks back at Louis with a smirk. "Yeah, I really am a complete failure. With abusive family and suicidal thoughts, full pack of a total loser. Why, wanna trade sob-stories with me under the moonlight while I suck you off?"

Liam's eyes grow wide. He chokes on his own saliva, breaking out in fist of coughs while Louis throws his head back and laughs on top of his lungs. His laughter fills up the quiet air around them, echoing between the buildings.

"You're quite a character, aren't you?" - Louis says as he finally finishes laughing and wipes a tear off his cheek. "Haven't had a proper laugh in months, cheers mate."

Zayn continues to smoke quietly.

"Liam I've decided,-" - Louis crawls up to his feet. "He's staying. I like him. What's your name, kid?"

"Zayn. His name is Zayn." - Liam answers instead of the boy. 

" _Zayn._ " - Louis repeats. "Nice name, kid. I'm Louis."

Zayn stares at hand that Louis extended towards him. Then reaches forward and shakes it slowly with a smug look on his face.

"It is always nice to meet another good-looking asshole." - He says calmly. 

"Wait till you meet Harry." - Louis doesn't hesitate to answer. "Okay, I'm gonna go make another round of tea. Try not to fuck while I'm here."

Louis disappears into the room, leaving flushed Liam and Zayn alone on the balcony. Zayn smokes his cigarette, poisonous smoke curling around his slender body. Liam stares at the way his long fingers wrap around the cancer-stick, the way his nose scrunches slightly every time he takes a drag. 

Zayn is beautiful. There is no doubt in that. But there is something else about him. Something that makes you want to break into his mind and learn every detail about him. Something that makes you want to die for the boy. 

"So, Liam, huh?" - Zayn breaks the silence. 

"What?" - Liam asks confused.

"Your name." - Zayn responds. He looks at Liam with his big eyes hidden under the wave of dark eyelashes. " Leeyum. "

"Oh." - Liam nods. "Yeah. Now you know my name."

"Well, Liam,-" - Zayn taps the bum of cigarette into the ashtray that lays on the floor near him. He gets up from where he was sitting on the cold floor piles and stands in front of Liam. He slowly brings his finger up to trace Liam's jawline and smirks up at the man. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Liam closes his eyes, leaning in touch. Zayn's cold finger gently wipes over his jaw, sending shivers down his spine.

 _"Hope you'll remember me when I'm gone, Liam."_ \- Zayn whispers, eyes burning holes on Liam's face as his finger continues to trace the man's face. _"I'd be sad if you forgot me."_

"You won't be gone, Zayn." - Liam mumbles and opens his eyes to meet Zayn's. "You won't die."

"Yeah," - Zayn finally pulls away and stares up at Liam for a moment. "Yeah, we'll see that."

He turns around and walks back into the room, leaving Liam alone with his thoughts. Liam leans on the railing with his hands and hangs his head low. Cold wind breaks under his skin, but Liam's sure that's not the reason of the shivers running up and down his body. He cusses quietly and follows the boy back into the house.

He locks the balcony door, slipping the key into his pocket. _Just in case._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two updates because why not.
> 
> chapters may be too small, but i don't have a patience to write huge ass chaps. sorry folks. instead, updates will be frequent? ok? thank u

Liam was fifteen when he realized he wasn't attracted to girls the way he should be. 

He clearly remembers the day the realization struck him like a lightning. He was accompanying Derek to one of his clubs, following the man like a lost puppy, as always. Derek owned most of the VIP sections in all the clubs downtown and this one was no exception. They sat down on the leathery couches, colorful led-lights shimmering all around them. Liam caught the man's eyes and Derek pointed towards the table on the opposite side of the club. Liam spotted a middle-aged man in dark suit and a boy, probably of his age, beside him. 

There was something about that boy. Something that sent shivers down his spine. Liam doesn't remember what the boy looked anymore, but in that moment he spoinned his head. Derek leaned towards him and whispered quietly, his voice barely audible in loud music.

 _"That's a Mamba man."_

Liam knew who Mambas were. It shattered his heart completely and Derek seemed to notice it.

 _"That kid's not gonna make it till tomorrow, Liam."_ \- He told the boy. _"Mambas will kill him and you know it._ "

Yeah, Liam knew it.

_"Never get involved with someone whose death is inevitable. It's only going to break your heart."_

Liam promised Derek and himself to follow the advise. He promised himself not to fall in love to save his heart and mind from shattering. But right now, as he sits in his living room and eyes the boy asleep on the couch, he mentally slaps himself for betraying his own promises.

Zayn's chest rises and falls from soft breaths he takes in his sleep. Dark curls fall down on his perfectly sculptured face, sending shadows over hollowed cheekbones. He looks peaceful, probably for the first time today. His thin body is wrapped in Liam's hoodie with a blanket draped over. Zayn looks warm and calm, everything that Liam isn't. 

Phone buzzes in his pocket and Liam fishes it out, answering the call before it can wake Zayn up.

 _"Boss."_ \- He hears hushed voice on the other side of the line. _"Deal on the South side was successful. Jordan has the suitcase with all the money, he's gonna deliver it to Tomlinson's office for the check-up."_

"Good." - Liam tells the man. He walks towards the window and looks out into the city drowned in night. "Any news from Harry?"

_"Yeah, Kara talked with him a few hours ago. He met the club owner, talked about business. Said we offer twice his price for the club and the crew. Think we're on the right path. Styles will sign the papers and fly back home tomorrow morning."_

"Leon's body?" - Liam asks the question that has been bugging him for the whole day.

_"Jordan dealt with it. We informed the family, said he died during job duties."_

Liam sighs and runs a hand over his face.

_"One more thing. We spotted Mambas on the North side, in one of clubs owned under your name. Want me to send out people to gather information?"_

"They're banned from North side." - Liam hisses. "Yes, send Horan's crew for investigation. try not to shoot anyone in the club, I hate dealing with the papers afterwards."

_"Consider it done. Have a nice night, Boss._

"You too, Mike." - Liam hangs up and puts the phone away. He is about to turn around and walk towards his bedroom when he hears a quiet voice behind his back.

"Are you some kind of a mafia?" 

Liam spins around and gapes at Zayn, who is now sitting up on the couch with a sleepy look on his face. His dark hair is messy but it only gives him the cozy, warm look and Liam wants to melt right on his spot. But, instead, he clears his throat and approaches the couch.

"It's better if you don't know who I am or what I deal with, Zayn."

Zayn blinks up at him calmly with an emotionless look on his face.

"But you want to know things about me, don't you?" - He asks then.

Liam doesn't even try to lie.

"Yes, I do."

"How's this then,-" - Zayn shuffles closer to Liam, his sweet smell crawls up Liam's nostrils and spin his head. "I tell you thing about myself and you do the same."

"Zayn,-"

"Or I'm out." - The boy presses. "I won't stay in the same house with a man who doesn't tell me anything past his name."

Liam sighs, knowing there is no other way. He doesn't want Zayn to leave, because something tells him it will be the last he will ever see the boy. So he nods at Zayn after minutes of hesitation.

"Go on, then. Ask away." - Zayn leans back and stares up at the ceiling.

"Tell me about your family."

Zayn snorts and shakes his head, as i he knew this would be the first thing Liam would ask him. 

"They are not my real family. I was adopted at the age of ten." - He whispers. "Foster's home was lovely, orphans were nice and all that shit, but I always wanted to have a home, you know. Like a proper family. Guess I was wrong. Family isn't always fun."

Liam agrees internally, but he doesn't cut Zayn off. Instead, he leans closer to hear Zayn's almost inaudible whisper. 

"Kevin was a bus driver. Susan worked in school cafeteria. First months of living with them were nice. I had enough food, clothes and even toys from time to time, But then, one day, I accidentally broke one of vases in the living room, Bumped into the table as I was playing with a ball. Kevin was furious."

Zayn tears his gaze off of the ceiling and looks at Liam.

"He beat me until I couldn't cry and locked me up in the basement for the whole night. That's when it first happened. And it kept happening since then, over every little detail. He used baseball bat and some of knives from the collection when he punished me. He never touched my face, so he could prevent suspicions from people around us."

The boy pulled up his sleeve suddenly, revealing dozens of deep, red cuts on his forearm. Liam's heart broke as he eyes the little bumps, cuts, burns and scratches all over the boy's skin. _How didn't he notice them earlier?!_

"Susan professionally ignored my screams and told neighbors I was just throwing tantrum every evening. Because I was a foster kid. Because I was an orphan and had no idea what real family means." - Zayn huffs a humorless laugh and shakes his head. "Last night, when I ran away, he beat me senseless. I passed out from the pain and woke up when we was already asleep. I stole his gun from the safe, knew the code from when he opened it to grab knives and carve my skin. That's why I tried to rob you. I needed some money to get away, because I knew I wouldn't survive his rage if he found me."

Liam feels the way his body shakes from anger and fury running though his veins. He stares at Zayn. Small, beautiful, slender-bodied Zayn and his heart swells from the images of him getting beat up on daily basis. Unconsciously, he reaches for Zayn's arm and curls his fingers around the boy's scarred hand. Zayn doesn't flinch away from him, instead he leans in touch.

"That's my family, Liam." - Zayn adds with a whisper. "Twisted, dark people with obvious mental instabilities. I don't belong in this world. I never did."

"That's not true." - Liam rushes and Zayn looks at him with numb eyes. The boy shrugs a shoulder and stares down at his fingers.

"My turn." - He says. "I'm asking a question now."

"Okay." - Liam tells hims softly, as if Zayn could break in any minute.

"Who are you?"

The question isn't surprising for Liam. He knew Zayn would ask that.

"I'm Liam Payne." - He tells the boy beside him. "I was raised by Derek Murphy, biggest drug-dealer of this town. He raised me like a son of his own. Taught me how to shoot a gun, trade business and sell drugs. He handed me an underworld before his death. I own most of the clubs on both North and South sides, have deals all over the town. My men are dangerous murderers who have killed dozens of people. And I have killed people, too. Many people. You don't even want to know. I'm a criminal who has his ways of hiding from the authorities. At the end of the day I'm a horrible person, Zayn."

"But you didn't kill me." - Zayn states. He doesn't even stir from Liam's words, doesn't get scared after hearing that Liam has killed people. Liam doesn't understand anything about this boy and it spins his world around the orbit.

"Maybe I found my piece of saving and forgiveness in you." - He admits. "Thought if I could save you, it would mean I'm not so horrible."

"But you are." - Zayn shrugs. "You are helping me for your selfish reasons. For that boner you get every time you look at me. For that peace the thought of saving me brings you. Don't tell yourself you're not horrible, because you are."

Liam doesn't disagree. And he doesn't deny a boner part, too.

"But it's fine. I've met people worse than you." - Zayn adds with a smirk. "And if my life can get any kind of meaning, like causing your inner peace or some shit, than I guess I didn't live for nothing."

"I don't want you to die, because you're only person who makes me feel something other than anger and emptiness." - Liam whispers. "Is that wrong?"

"How could it be wrong?" - Zayn stares up at Liam with a small smile. And Liam has never seen the boy smile before, only smirk and huff humorlessly, but never smile. And _God_ , it is a beautiful sight. "How could it be wrong, if it feels so right?"

Liam smiles back at the boy, not being able to find any words to respond. He gets up from the couch, afraid of not being able to control himself if he stays any longer.

"You need some sleep." - He tells the boy, who is staring up at him with his damned, beautiful eyes. "Tomorrow I'm going to teach you how to shoot a proper gun."

Zayn smirks and looks down into his lap.

"In case I have to rob someone else?" - He asks quietly.

Liam pauses, eyeing the boy in front of him.

"In case someone else tries to hurt you in any way." - He tells the boy. And for a brief second, he notices a pained look running through the boy's eyes, but it gets replaces with numbness once again.

Liam turns around and walks into his bedroom, shutting the door behind his back. He pats his pockets, checking for the key of the balcony and breathes out with a relief when he feels it. 

There is no way Liam is letting Zayn die. Not when he is the only thing that keeps Liam alive in the world of death that hangs around him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we meet harry. and niall. and everyone. 
> 
> and troubles,too.

"See the red spot? That's the target for the heart." - Liam explains.

He took Zayn down to his basement this morning, where he keeps all of his weapons. It's probably not the most common thing to own a training room in the basement, especially with all the targets and huge halls for shooting, maybe that's why Zayn's eyes grew wide as he stepped into the room. Liam handed him protection earmuffs and put one on himself. He pulled out the smallest gun from the weapon-cabinet and showed Zayn where to stand. Zayn's fingers curled around the gun as Liam stood right behind him, holding the boy's forearms to help him with the aim.

"Aim right into the red spot." - Liam tells Zayn. "Try not to flinch and move your hand when you shoot."

Zayn nods slowly and squeezes the gun strongly.

"Get a better grip, like I've told you." - Liam adds. "Ready?"

Zayn pulls the trigger before Liam can say anything else. The loud, brain-piercing bang echoes through the room as the bullet hits the target. Zayn's hand stays steady and unmoving. Liam gapes at the spot where it hit, right in the middle of the red spot. He blinks down at the boy, who is still holding the gun upwards, pointing towards the target. Zayn inhales shakily and pulls the trigger again. 

And again.

And again.

Several bullets hit almost the same spot right in the red spot, leaving holes and traces on the human cut-out. One of the bullets hits the head of the target, the other ends right in the middle of his chest. Zayn continues to shoot, hitting the fatal spots on the target until the gun lets out a pathetic clicking noise, indicating that it's out of bullets.

Zayn straightens, holding his chin up and brings the gun down to his side. He glances at Liam, who is staring at the boy with wide eyes.

"Not hard. Like I've told you." - Zayn shrugs and places the gun on the table beside him. Liam opens his mouth to say something, but the sound of his phone cuts him off. He picks up the phone, holding his finger up for Zayn, signaling to wait for him before the boy can empty another gun.

"Yes?"

_"Boss, we have a deal-meeting in the Revenge Club in fifteen minutes. They've requested to meet the owner of the club himself. We need you here."_

"Who are we meeting?" - Liam asks.

_"French providers. Said their man flew right from Paris this morning."_

"I'll be there." - Liam hangs up and turns around to face Zayn. The boy is examining Liam's weapons with a big interest, eyeing every piece of metal. "You're coming with me."

Zayn's head snaps up, surprise written all over his eyes. 

"What? Why?"

"I'm not leaving you alone, Zayn." - Liam mumbles and walks out of the room with Zayn following him. Liam grabs one of the guns on his way out, in case he needs to use it on someone today. 

"I don't want to participate in your deals, Liam." - Zayn says sternly as they walk upstairs, back to the house.

"Well, I don't care what you want." - Liam shrugs. "You're coming. Or I'll have to lock you up in the room. Which one do you prefer?"

Zayn stares at Liam with angry eyes, and man can swear he sees the spots of flame flashing in the boy's eyes. He doesn't want Zayn to be mad at him, but he can't leave the boy alone in his house. He can't risk it. Simple as that.

"Fine." - Zayn grits. Liam smirks at the boy satisfied, feeling proud of himself.

* * * 

Zayn hasn't said a word to Liam during the ride to club. He's been staring out of the window, ignoring the fact that he's wrapped in Liam's huge, warm jacket and has Liam's beanie pulled over the messy hair. He ignores the man as best as he can, examining every tree or house they pass. They don't talk or interact as they walk into the club from the backdoors or when they go downstairs towards the main hall, but Liam can tell Zayn doesn't feel comfortable in here from the way he moves closer to Liam, walking right behind him.

They walk into the lobby, which is already full of familiar faces. 

"Big Boss is here!" - High-pitched voice announces. Liam turns his head to greet Louis, who is wearing a white shirt with black jeans, _his serious uniform_ as the boy calls it. Louis approaches him and pats Liam's back. His eyes grow wide for a moment when he notices Zayn standing behind the man. "Why did you bring the kid?!"

"I couldn't leave him alone." - Liam explains calmly. "He'll stay beside me and won't cause any trouble."

Liam can see with his peripheral vision how Zayn rolls his eyes but chooses to ignore it. He walks towards the couches and sits down on one of them, signaling Zayn with a nod to sit beside him.

"You won't even greet your old friend? Rude." - The low voice speaks up from somewhere behind Liam's back. Liam's face breaks into grin and he shakes his head as the tall, curly boy walks around the couches and stands right in front of him.

"Hazza." - Liam smiles up at the man. "You're back."

"Of course I'm back. You know I can't stay away for too long." - Harry grins. He looks at Zayn sitting near Liam, who is anxiously tapping his foot on the floor from the nerves. "You must be Zayn?"

Zayn's eyes snap up at the man, but he doesn't respond.

"Lou was right, you _are_ very pretty." - Harry states with his calm voice.

"Hey, hey now!" - Louis shouts from the other side of the room, where he's standing with some other men, holding papers in both hands. "I can hear you, Curly."

"Jealousy doesn't suit you, boo." - Harry tells the man. He then looks at Zayn and sends him a friendly wink. "Relax, we're not going to bite. Right, Liam?"

"Go deal with papers, I beg you." - Liam pleads. 

"They're here!" - Jordan bursts into the doors. "Five men, all dressed in black, two suitcases, one black Range Rover, no weapons, earplugs or microphones in sight.

"Good." - Liam straightens up in his seat and adjusts the collar of his shirt. "Harry, stand behind me on the right. Zayn, go stand with Louis."

"I don't-" - Zayn tries to protest, but Liam ignores his weak call.

"Louis, take Zayn and stand near the exit, avoid windows. Jordan, when I signal - hand the men papers to sign. Niall, you and Nick stand beside them when they sit down, try to see which one's a _boss._ Keep guns loaded. Max, lead them in."

His people shuffle around the room, following his orders. Louis literally drags Zayn up and pulls him towards the furthest corner, near the exit door. Liam's hear sinks, because he knows Zayn doesn't belong here, in Liam's world, but there's no other way for him to stay safe. The boy flashes him an angry look, then looks away from him. Liam wants to apologize, but he can't break his facade right now.

After a moment, Max, a tall blonde man that has been working for Liam for almost five years now, opens the door to let unknown people walk in. Their footsteps fill up the room as they approach the couch in front of Liam. 

One of the men, with broad shoulders and ginger hair, sits down on the couch while other four stand behind him. Niall and Nick have to take a few steps back, but they still stay close.

"Mr. Payne." - A man on the couch speaks up with the French accent. "It is nice to finally meet you in person. My name is Eugine Baudin. My company is the main provider of your _stuff_ in Paris."

"Why did you want to meet me?" - Liam asks, indicating to get closer the actual business.

"We have been having troubles in office, Mr. Payne." - The man says. His thin lips twist in arrogant smirk. "We had information that your people in Italy get paid twice as much as out office does."

"Transitions from Italy are harder and more twisted than the ones that you provide." - Liam hisses. From the corner of his eyes he can see Zayn staring at him with wide eyes, obviously shocked from his calm, cold facade that he uses during business meetings. 

"True, Mr. Payne." - The man nods. "But that's not quite an answer we want to hear."

Something sends alarm signals in Liam's head. He leans forward a bit, to get a better look at the man. The man is tapping his finger on the suitcase he is holding, while his eyes are glued to Liam's face.

"Is that why you wanted to meet? To talk about money?" - Liam narrows his eyes. "You're not getting anything from me, Baudin. I've payed enough for your work. I can always find someone else to do job for us."

"That's where you're wrong, Mr. Payne." - The man shakes his head. "You can't."

The man stops tapping his fingers on the suitcase and fists his hand a few times, signaling something to the men on his back. Liam's eyes grow wide as realization hits him, he bolts upwards just in time as the men drop their suitcases and pull out guns. 

_"Shit."_ \- He hears Harry's voice behind his back. Instantly, Liam jumps over the couch towards Harry, reaching for the gun that the man is already handing him. The men in front of them have their guns aimed at Liam, one of them aims at Niall who's standing behind Baudin, while another one points his gun at Louis.

Liam's breath hitches as he spots Zayn behind Louis' back. The man is trying to shield the boy with his body, while the boy is standing frozen on the spot with his eyes wide.

"Don't you dare." - Liam warns Baudin with a low growl. "Tell your man to lower their guns before we've put bullets through your heads."

"Too late, Mr. Payne." - The man smirks at him.

The first shot rings through the wall of the club, causing windows to shake. It hits the chandelier above them and Liam ducks down as pieces of broken glass spread around the room. Harry cocks the gun and crawls towards the table to get a better sight of the men. Liam takes off safety of his gun and tries to shoot at Baudin, but misses a few times as the man launches to the side. He cusses and gets up on his feet, gripping gun with his hands.

He hears gunshots from every corner of the room, shouts and orders fill up the space around him. He tries to spot Baudin through the mess.

"We got three!" - Liam hears Harry's voice and soon notices bodies of three suited men near his feet. He steps over them and continues to look for Baudin. 

"They've shot Nick!" - Niall shouts. 

"Get him out." - Liam orders. "Take him to Louis' basement." 

Niall nods and helps his shot friend up, holding him by his waist.

"Max!" - Liam roars.

"I'm here." - The man responds through the gunshots. "Think I've shot another one."

"Good. Go with Niall." - Liam nods towards the Irish boy. "Patch Nick up."

Liam looks around the room as gunshots finally stop. Baudin is the only one left, with one of his man alive. He tries to see through the dust that fogs the room. He spots the movement on his left and instantly aims towards it. He spots a black suit and shoots with no hesitation, sending last of Baudin's men down to the ground with the bullet in his head.

"Come on, motherfucker." - He spits. "You're the only one left, Baudin!"

Liam dares to glance at where Louis stood. The man is now crouched, holding gun near his chest as he looks around frantically. He meets Liam's eyes with his wide, blue ones.

"I need to help Harry." - Louis whispers, loud enough for Liam to hear. "Think he's been hit in leg or something. Kid's with me, but I need to help Harry."

"Go." - Liam nods. Slowly, Louis gets up and steps aside. Zayn is kneeled behind him with hood draped over his head as if it could provide any kind of protection. Liam approaches the boy and gently grabs his chin to tilt his head back and meet his eyes.

"Okay?" - He mouths to the boy, who stares up at him with his big eyes. The boy nods and Liam turns around, shielding the boy with his body. He realizes Louis and Harry are gone from the room and he sighs with a relief from the thought they are safe. He grips his gun and looks around. He spots Jordan on the other side of the room, who is also looking around, searching for the man.

"You've brought a kid on the deal, Mr. Payne?" - The low voice asks. Liam exhales shakily as he tries to find the source of the voice. He hears Zayn's quiet whimper behind him and it fills up his heart with anger.

"There's no point in hiding, Baudin." - He yells. "Come and meet your faith."

"Boss." - He hears a whisper from his side. He glances at Jordan, who is staring at him with wide eyes. "Boss, _bullets._ "

It dawns on Liam then. He's out of bullets. His gun is empty. His breathing grows rapid, he feels hot and cold at the same time. Jordan shakes head, indicating he's out of the bullets, too. Liam hisses a quiet _"fuck"_ and tries to steady his breathing.

"How sad. Seems like you've lost your throne, Payne." - Baudin scoffs. Liam finally notices the man as he walks towards the center of the room. He stands right in front of Liam and aims his gun at him. Liam lets go of his own gun and it falls on the ground with a loud sound.

"You won't get out here alive, Baudin." - He hisses and stares at the gun pointed at him. "You're a dead man."

"Well,-" - The man smirks. "So are you."

A gunshot echoes through the room. Liam squeezes his eyes shut, ready to meet the piercing pain in his chest. But nothing comes. He waits for a few more seconds and the finally cracks his eyes open.

He can't stop a gasp leaving his lungs as he sees Baudin, laying on the floor in the middle of the room with his head split in half from the bullet hole. Liam's eyes snap towards Jordan, who is gaping at the body the same way that he is. And then it clicks.

Liam turns around slowly and looks down. Zayn is sitting on the floor with his back leaning on the wall. His trembling hands are holding a gun, which Liam recognizes as Louis'. A small trail of smoke crawls out of the barrel. Zayn drops the gun from his hands and gulps loudly. He finally looks up at Liam with wide eyes.

 _"Zayn."_ \- Liam whispers shocked.

"I-I lied. It's-It's really hard to shoot someone." - Zayn grits as his whole body shakes from nerves. 

"He's dead." - Jordan states the fact as he approaches the body, but Liam ignores him. He can't tear off his eyes from the boy in front of him. Stupid, reckless, brave, unbelievable boy. 

"You've saved my life." - Liam mumbles. "When I was supposed to do the same for you."

"I'm sorry?" - Zayn asks quietly. Liam kneels in front of him and suddenly, his breath gets knocked out of him as Zayn buries himself in his chest and wraps his arms around Liam's body. He feels the way Zayn's body trembles from the shock.

"You're okay." - He tells the boy as his fingers grip the boy's neck. "You did a right thing. You're-You're very brave, Zayn."

"Boss?" - Jordan's voice cuts in again. "Boss, you've got to see this."

Liam pulls away slowly from Zayn. He gets up on his feet and helps Zayn up, holding his waist to keep him steady. The boy's knees shake but he manages to stand. Liam looks down at whatever Jordan is showing him.

"The tattoo, Boss." - Jordan mumbles. "He's got a snake tattoo on his chest."

 _"Mambas."_ \- Liam realizes. "Someone sold us out and they got info about our whereabouts."

"We'll deal with that later." - Jordan tells him. "You've got something else to deal with right now."

Liam glances at Zayn, who is still shaking uncontrollably under his touch. 

"I'll tell Max to send people to get rid of this mess." - Jordan adds. "We'll deal with bodies."

"Let's go." - Liam whispers to Zayn. "Let's get you home, Zayn."

* * *

 _"Hazza and Nick are fine. A few scratches, two weeks in bed and they'll be fine."_ \- Louis' voice tells Liam from the phone. _" We've got Niall tracking Mambas, while Max takes care of club and bodies."_

"Thanks, Louis." - Liam sighs and sips whiskey from the glass. He is standing in front of the window, staring out at the city below him.

 _"How's the kid, Liam?"_ \- Louis asks.

Liam turns around to look at Zayn, who is sitting on his bed with his gaze glued to the floor.

"I don't know." - Liam admits quietly. 

_"I've gotta go. Take care of him, Liam. And yourself."_ \- Louis hangs up.

Liam puts the phone and a glass of whiskey on the windowstill and approaches Zayn. He kneels in front of him with a concerned look on his face.

"Zayn,-"

"You know what I was thinking back there?" - Zayn finally speaks up, for the first time since they've got back. "I though _finally,_ it's happening. I'm going to die, after all this time. And I thought it would feel right, like I'd feel relived. But do you know what I felt instead?"

Liam shakes his head and Zayn stares up at him with bloodshot eyes full of unshed tears. Liam has never seen anyone looks so beautiful and sad at the same time.

"I felt afraid. Afraid that I would die without getting to know all of you. All your thoughts, feelings, memories. I felt scared I'd never get a chance to know you, or-or talk with you again."

Liam isn't sure he's breathing. His lungs are shutting off and he feels his blood freezing in his veins.

"What did you do to me?" - Zayn whispers shakily as a few tears escape his eyes. His wet lashes flutter as he blinks, looking even longer than before. "You've made me want to live? How-How could you do this to me?"

"Zayn,-" - Liam launches forward and captures the boy's small figure in his embrace. Zayn's body trembles in his arms, quiet sobs escape his lungs.

"This was not supposed to happen. I can't crave life." - Zayn sobs shakily. "You weren't supposed to twist my world upside down."

"But you did the same thing with me." - Liam whispers as he pulls away to look at Zayn. He wipes tears with his thumb softly and sighs. "I've never felt scared for someone else in my life. Not even Louis or Harry. I always knew they'd be fine, whatever happens. But _you_ made my blood boil back there. The only thing running through my brain was your safety, Zayn."

"I'm sorry." - Zayn whispers.

"Don't apologize." - Liam shakes his head. He places a small kiss on Zayn's cheek and feels shivers running down his spine from the contact. "I won't let you die, Zayn. Not now, not ever."

Zayn doesn't answer. He closes his eyes and buries himself deeper in Liam's chest. 

Liam decides it's a progress. A small one, but still a progress.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they interlace and then fall apart
> 
> liam lets zayn in 
> 
> and out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for mistakes, chap's unedited

Liam is used to living alone. He has never shared a house with anyone since Derek passed away. He is used to waking up in complete silence, drowning in quiet rooms surrounded by silenced walls around him. He is used to empty, cold bed and lonely days.

Liam is not used to waking up to the sound of someone else's voice in the room next to his bedroom. He bolts up from his bed, quickly tugs up the sweatpants and runs out of the room, trying to find the source of the noise. But the moment he steps out of the room, relief washes his body as he sees the cause of his panic.

Zayn is sitting on the floor in front of TV, watching some old cartoons. He is wearing Liam's old, almost ripped t-shirt that looks too big for him and falls down of his thin shoulder. Liam tries hard not to drool right on the spot. He is staring at the screen, like the stupid cartoon with annoyingly radiant colors is the most interesting thing in the world. Liam chuckles and shakes his head at the sight. It seems to startle Zayn as the boy turns his head quickly to meet Liam's gaze.

"Didn't expect to start my morning with a marathon of "Looney Tunes." - Liam explains with a small smile on his lips. Zayn blinks up at him and gulps, eyes never leaving Liam. Or, to be more exact, _Liam's chest._ The man's brows furrow and he glances down, only to realize he forgot to put the shirt on. Liam's cheeks heat up as his eyes snap back at Zayn, who is literally swirling holes on him with his intense stare.

"Neither did I expect to start my morning with a strip-show." - The boy says quietly, batting his long lashes at Liam. 

"Sorry." - Liam mumbles embarrassed. "I'll go put something on-"

"You don't have to." - Zayn blurts. His eyes go wide as he realizes what he's just said and turns his gaze back to TV. "I mean, you-I'm fine with it. _Shit,_ that sounded better in my head." - He whispers the last part to himself.

Liam chuckles softly and walks towards the boy. He flops down on the floor beside Zayn, trying hard not to stare at the way his shirt exposes his collarbones and beautiful tattoos that cover his skin on the chest. 

"How are you feeling?" - He asks, as the memories of last night crawl back to his mind. 

Zayn shrugs, still not looking at Liam.

"Okay." - The boy says. "I try not to think about what happened yesterday, you know."

"Yeah, I get it." - Liam nods understandingly. "Just know you can talk to me about anything, yeah?"

Zayn laughs at this and finally tears his gaze off of TV and stares at Liam.

"Liam, you keep forgetting that you're a criminal and a drug-lord, not a therapist."

"I may be those things, but I'm also your friend." - Liam shrugs a shoulder.

Zayn's breath hitches as he hears those words leaving the man's lips.

"You-We're friends?" - He asks with wide eyes and the expression on his face makes him look so much younger and smaller than he is that Liam wants to embrace the boy and never let him go.

"Of course." - He nods instead. "I wouldn't let you stay in my house if I didn't think you're my friend."

Zayn looks down at his fingers and Liam can swear the boy's cheeks turn into the bright shade of pink.

"Thank you." - He whispers in almost inaudible voice. 

"Come on,-" - Liam gets up on his feet and reaches his hand for Zayn to hold. "I want to show you something."

Zayn smiles and grabs the man's hand to stand up.

* * *

"You've really read all of these books?" - Zayn gasps as he looks around the library.

Liam's leaning on the wall with his back, smiling at the gaping boy. He took Zayn to one of his favorite rooms in his house - Derek's library. The man has been collecting books his whole life, adding the most unique books into his collection through the years. He left it to Liam, like everything else he owned.

"Not all." - Liam admits. "But most of them, yeah. Some of them are written in Latin and old English, they are pretty hard to read, but I try."

"You know Latin?!" - Zayn asks the man with wide eyes.

"Kind of." - Liam chuckles. "Derek taught me a bit of Latin. And German. Some Russian, too."

"Amazing." - Zayn breathes. He stands near one of the shelves and eyes the books. "Anatomy? He taught you anatomy, too?"

"Some of it." - Liam tells the boy. He pulls away from the wall and approaches Zayn, grabbing one of the books from the shelf. He opens it and glances through the pages. "This is one of the first Anatomy books that has been published in English. Derek bought it on some weird auction in Belgium. I've accompanied him there, he payed thirteen thousand dollars for it."

"Woah. That's a lot of money to pay for something you can always find on internet." - Zayn mumbles.

"Not really." - Liam closes the book and places it back on the shelf. He turns around then, facing Zayn. The boy is staring up at him curiously. "Most of these books are very rare, some of them are the one exemplars. Look at this, you're gonna like this."

Liam nears a shelf on the other side of the room and pulls out a thin book from the end of the books' pile. He hands it to Zayn, who eyes the cover with wide eyes.

"Is this-"

"Tales of Suspense #39. Comic dated 1963."

"The first comic featuring Iron Man." - Zayn breathes shakily. He looks up at Liam with bright eyes. "How did you-"

"How did I know you'd like it? I might have seen the way you stare at my posters." - Liam shrugs a shoulder. 

Zayn gapes down at the book in his hands, obviously nervous to even touch the comic.

"You can keep it." - Liam adds. Zayn's wide eyes snap up at him.

"No." - The boy gasps and shakes his head. "No, this is-Liam, this thing costs thousands of bucks. I don't deserve it-It's too much for me-"

"Zayn." - Liam cuts Zayn's rambling off. "I want you to have it. Please."

The boy's grateful, doe eyes shine up at Liam as he swallows hardly. He stares at the man for a moment, then pulls the book closer to his chest and hangs his head low.

"Thanks." - He mumbles. "I'll keep it safe."

Liam smiles and shakes his head at the boy's words. Something washes over him then. A wave of bravery, something he can't quite explain or name. He takes a few steps closer to Zayn and lifts his hands to cup the boy's beautifully sculptured face. Zayn's cheeks are a bit red as he looks up at Liam, surprised and confused from the man's actions.

"Can I do something reckless and stupid?" - Liam breathes. Zayn blinks up at him, still holding the book near his chest.

"You can do whatever you want." - He whispers back. "You're the Big Boss."

Liam launches forward without anything else said. His lips capture Zayn's soft, plump ones in head-spinning kiss. The boy tastes of mint and nicotine, sweet and breath-taking, just as Liam anticipated. Zayn gasps quietly from surprise and it lets Liam push his tongue deeper into the boy's mouth. He runs his fingers through the boy's hair on the nape of his neck as their tongues swirl in unison. Zayn lets out a muffles moan that gets lost between Liam's lips. The man feels how the world around him spins, because the passion that Zayn kisses him back with is too much to bear.

Zayn feels warm, safe and peaceful. Everything that Liam has never felt before and the thought of it makes Liam go mad.

He pulls away finally, breathing heavily as he keeps his face inches away from Zayn's. He is first to open eyes, seconds before the boy, so he captures the way Zayn's eyelashes flatter before his eyelids disconnect and reveal his dilated pupils. Liam almost misses the sweet shade of brown in Zayn's eyes.

"Wow." - Zayn whispers shakily. "Yeah, I didn't expect _this._ "

Liam chuckles and places his forehead on Zayn's gently. His hands cup the boy's face.

"But you're okay, right?" - He breathes.

"Yeah." - Zayn nods and licks his reddened lips. "I'm okay."

Liam smiles and pulls away, tracing the boy's cheek one last time with his thumb before stepping back.

"I have to call Louis." - He tells Zayn. "There's no cell service down here. Come on, _Steve Rogers._ "

Zayn huffs a laugh and shakes his head.

"Fuckin' Tony Stark." - He says. "Lead the way."

* * * 

_"Mambas know every step that we take, Liam."_ \- Louis mumbles through the phone. _"They know where you'll be beforehand, they know every meeting you've planned this month. They are everywhere we look."_

"How did this happen?" - Liam asks anxiously.

 _"We have a rat in system._ " - Louis sighs. _"Someone's been giving out information about us to Mambas. Someone, who we've trusted dearly. They know every detail of our lives, Liam. Things like what we wear everyday, what relationships we have with each-other. They know about me and Haz, they know fuckin' everything, mate._

"You have any suspects?" - Liam dares to ask.

_"Not yet. But it's someone close to us, close to you personally, Liam. Mambas know about how Derek found you as you were a kid. Only few people know that, man. Me, Hazza, Nialler, and-"_

"-and Zayn." - Liam finishes with a whisper.

It suddenly dawns on him. The evening he told Zayn about his family, his history with the drug-world. Minute by minute, he opened up to boy more and more, giving him all the information he could need to sell him out. And, as he looks at it right now, it does look strange. The way Zayn barged into his life out of nowhere, got closer to him and suddenly Mambas know everything about him. He keeps the track of his meetings in the notebook near his nightstand, the boy could easily reach it when Liam was taking a bath.

The whole thing with Zayn being too good at shooting, holding a gun like a professional assassin and having the perfect aim. He shot Baudin with the first try, and it probably was a part of Mambas' plan, to get Liam's trust. Baudin was just a sacrifice for the whole plan, his murder was planned all along. That's why the man didn't shoot Liam instead of Nick or Harry.

The air feels too heavy around Liam as he stumbles back and falls down on the couch.

_"-ello? You there, mate? I said, you can't point fingers at the kid,-"_

"I'll call you back, Louis." - Liam breathes. He hangs up and the phone slips from his hands.

He kissed Zayn. He trusted Zayn, let him into his life and now it's all gone. He failed, he made the biggest mistake in his life - trusted someone with everything he had. And he realizes it all now, how every fact points at Zayn, every detail from the last few days that the boy has spent in his house.

Liam tugs himself off of the couch and his legs take him towards his bedroom automatically. He opens the door and walks in with his head full and heavy from thoughts and regrets. 

Zayn is sitting on the rug with his back leaning on the bed. He looks up at Liam from comic he's holding and his brows knit together from the sight.

"What's wrong?" - He asks as he examines the look on Liam's face. Probably a destroyed, ruined look and empty eyes.

"You knew how to shoot." - Liam says with a cold voice. He stands in front of the boy with an emotionless face.

"What?" - Zayn gapes up at him.

"You've shot Baudin like a professional shooter. You've never once missed the aim when I took you to the basement."

"Liam, I don't-"

"You know everything about my past and my future plans. You know who I'll meet tomorrow, next week, next month. You know where I'll be, where my men will be. You know exact dates and times. You know everything." - Liam spits furiously.

Zayn's eyes grow wide as he stares up Liam. The man's chest fills up with anger. He grabs the boy's hand and drags him upwards to his feet, earning a yelp from surprised kid.

"Liam, what are you-"

"You've used all of me to get everything you needed, didn't you?" - Liam snarls as he squeezes Zayn's shoulders harshly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." - Zayn shakes his head with a scared look on his face. "Please, let me go,-"

"You've lied about your family and your past, didn't you?! Those cuts are probably from all the missions you've had before you met me!"

"Liam, you're hurting me." - Zayn chokes.

"It's my mistake. Of course it's my mistake - I should have never trusted someone like you." - Liam shakes his head as his face twists from anger. He starts walking and drags the boy after him. "It's fine, I'll deal with it. I'll deal with you on my own."

Zayn follows him like a lost kid, stumbling on almost every step as they walk into the hallway. Liam pushes him forward, causing the boy to fall down on his knees. He stares up at Liam with big eyes full of unshed tears and for a moment it manages to break Liam's already shattered heart even more.

But he ignores his heart's calls. Instead, he takes out the gun from his back pocket and takes the safety off. Zayn's eyes grow wide from the sight and he lets out a quiet whimper.

"I'll do us both a favor and end your pathetic life." - Liam hisses as he points his gun at Zayn.

 _"Leeyum,-"_ \- Zayn chokes shakily. "Please, I've never-I didn't do anything-"

"Shut up!" - Liam growls as he feels the way his own tears choke and suffocate him. "Stop playing with my head!"

"Please." - Zayn whispers as tears stream down his face. "You have to believe me."

Liam inhales furiously as his finger traces the trigger of the gun. He aims at Zayn shakily. But, after a few seconds, he realizes he can't pull the trigger. 

He lets out a pathetic choking sound and drops the gun. Zayn is staring up at him with eyes full of fear, waiting for his next actions. From his gaze, Liam knows the boy waits for him to hit him, kick the hell out of Zayn. But he can't. He simply can't.

"Get out." - He chokes instead. "Get out of my house. Out of my life. If I ever see you again, I promise, I will set the bullet through your skull."

Zayn whimpers and scrambles up from the floor. He bolts towards the entrance door and disappears from Liam's apartment in a second. He leaves the trace of his sweet, enchanting smell after him and Liam can't help himself.

He falls down on the floor and covers his face with his hands. He has never felt so disappointed in himself and in his life. He realizes he deserved this for trusting someone else in his life. 

He fucking deserved it.

* * *

Two days of laying on the couch and doing nothing but staring up at the ceiling passed too fast for Liam. His mind is fading away from the thinking he's been doing, his own feelings eat him alive. He barely moved, barely did anything other than breathe and exist.

Zayn is gone, obviously. The comic book is still laying on the floor near Liam's bed. Other than Liam's missing hoodie and sweatpants, that the boy was wearing, everything looks the same in his house. But it feels empty, dull and dark.

Just like it has always felt before Liam let Zayn destroy his life.

He doesn't register when the front door opens and shuts loudly, until he spots a familiar silhouette in the hallway. He realizes he didn't even lock the door after Zayn. Louis flops down on the couch beside him and pushes his fringe back to stare at Liam.

"Why the fuck is your phone off?!" - He hisses annoyed. "I've been trying to call you for the whole day! We have a serious thing to deal with, you bloody idiot!"

Liam blinks up at ceiling, ignoring his friend and it gives Louis permission to continue.

"We've traced every phone around the team, every fuckin' computer. Even wanted to pay a visit to everyone in our crew, but guess what?" - Louis rambles, too cheerful and annoying for some unknown reason. "We found the fucker!"

"I know." - Liam finally whispers. 

"What?!" - Louis gasps. "You knew and didn't even think to tell me?!"

"There was no point." - Liam sighs. "I got rid of him."

"What? How did you-Liam, we've had him in my basement for two days, when did you get rid of him?" - Louis asks confused.

Liam bolts up and stares at his friend with wide eyes.

_"You have Zayn?!"_

Louis blinks at him, looking completely out of it.

"Zayn? Liam we caught the rat. We-It's Jordan, Liam. He admitted it after a few punches. He's been working on Mambas for years."

Blood freezes in Liam's veins. He forgets how to breathe, instead swallows empty gulps of air but it does nothing to fill up his lungs. He heaves, feelings like he's choking on oxygen. Jordan. The man was there, one every deal, every meeting. He got close with Niall and Harry, one of them could tell him about Derek during his serving time. Jordan was there when they met Baudin. Jordan noticed and recognized the Mamba tattoo on the man's chest. _No, no this isn't right. This can't be true, he's imagining it._

"Liam, what did you do?" - Louis asks quietly, as he finally realizes what is going on. "Where is the kid? Liam, where is Zayn?"

Liam gets up on his shaky legs and stumbles towards the door, nearly falling down on his face on the way. He ignores Louis' calls and shouts as he grabs the first jacket he can reach in the hallway and barges out of the house in the speed of light.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stay safe guys, this chap's a bit triggering  
> i love u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, we all think liam doesn't deserve zayn's forgiveness. but let's not forget, liam's a drug-lord, a criminal and has never trusted a single soul on this earth. it was hard for him to let zayn in, and now it's hard to let him go.

When Liam was seventeen he had to run from the police officer. It was his fault, obviously, as he agreed to Louis' stupid dare. He stole a few canned sodas from the grocery shop near Derek's house. Unfortunately for him, the shop owner was a retired police officer and he didn't hesitate to chase two boys down the street as they ran with stolen goods. Liam remembers being shocked from his ability to run _so_ fast. He felts as if the ground underneath his feet disappeared from the speed he has gained. 

They ran away from the man, but couldn't escape Derek's judging gaze as they returned home. Louis hang his head low as Derek gave the two of them an-hour-long lecture about how dangerous it is to mess with police, especially for people like them. But, somewhere in his heart, Liam was proud of himself and of how fast he could run.

Right now, Liam can swear he runs twice as fast as back then. He passes the familiar streets, alleys and parks again and again, looking for familiar silhouette. His lungs are already giving up on him, his breathing is ragged and messed up but he can't stop.

He can't forget the look on Zayn's face when he pointed a gun at the boy. The pain, sadness and betrayal written all over the boy's beautiful orbs. Liam hates himself for doing the same thing with Zayn that he promised to protect him from. _How could he? How could he think that Zayn, angelic Zayn would ever betray him and his people?_

Liam's phone beeps in his pocket and he stops near the corner of the street to catch his breath for a moment. He fishes out the phone with trembling hands. It's a text message form Louis with an unfamiliar address attached to it.

_"Apparently, there aren't many Zayns in this town. Here's an address we dug out from the net. It may or may not be his foster family home. Fix ur stupid mistake!"_

Liam's eyes run over the address. It's an area filled with poor families, a district on the other side of the town. He pushes the phone back into the pocket and cusses before turning around and running back to his apartment block.

He walks into the garage located right underneath it. His hands are shaking as he unlocks the entrance door. He doesn't even bother to flick the lights on, simply grabs the black helmet from the shelf and jumps over his black Harley bike.

* * *

Cold wind breaks his skin as Liam jumps from his bike and his feet meet the frozen asphalt underneath. He takes his helmet off and places it on the seat. His eyes glance at the small house in front of him. 

It's an old house with almost fully destroyed roof and one broken window covered with plastic. He approaches a gate and opens it with the loud, piercing sound of rusted metal. Liam steps into the yard and looks around. There are no lights turned on in the house and it sends warning signals in his head.

Before he can walk any further towards the house, the front door opens with a loud bang. A tall man steps out onto the porch and examines the yard before his eyes finally meet Liam.

"Who the fuck are you?!" - The man growls and takes a few steps forward.

"I'm looking for Zayn." - Liam asks calmly, fisting his hands as he realizes who the man is.

The man stops walking and narrows his eyes at Liam, angry expression plastered on his flushed face.

"Zayn?" - He asks loudly. "Haven't seen the fucker in days. Think he fucked off."

Liam's chest fills up with fury and hate. How dares this man talk about Zayn like he's some piece of trash?! How dares he, when Zayn is probably the best thing he's ever seen in his pathetic life?!

"Who's asking, though?" - The man presses. He approaches Liam, who is shaking from anger. "Are you his boyfriend? Always knew he was a faggot, that stupid-"

The man's words get lost in his mouth as Liam's fingers curl around his neck, pressing into the skin harshly. His eyes go wide and he stumbles back, but Liam pulls him forward and brings his face closer to the man.

_"You pathetic piece of human's flesh," _\- He snarls at Kevin. "You think you can get away from everything you've ever done to him, don't you?"__

__The man tries to get out of Liam's grasp, but fails._ _

__"I will cut off your limbs, one by one until you can function and will leave you alone for homeless dogs to eat the shit out of you." - Liam continues to growl. He sees the fear filling up the man's eyes. He opens his mouth to add something else, but quick footsteps approach them from the porch._ _

___"Kevin!"_ \- A high-pitched voice gasps. "What's going on?! Who's this man?!"_ _

__Liam glances at the woman behind Kevin, probably his pathetic excuse of a wife._ _

__"Hello, Susan." - He greets her with the low voice._ _

__"Who the hell are you?! What do you want?!" - The woman screams while she clutches on her husband's shoulder._ _

__"Tell me where's Zayn." - He ignores the woman's questions._ _

__"I-We haven't seen him for a week!" - Susan chokes as she stares up at Liam. "We thought he ran away from home. He stole Kevin's gun!"_ _

__"The fucker deserves to freeze to death on the streets." - Kevin struggles to say._ _

__Liam lets out a furious growl from the bottom of his throat and tugs the man closer._ _

__"He might be on the bridge!" - The woman shouts loudly. "The one near the factory! He used to go there a lot when he was a kid. Please, let my husband go!"_ _

__Liam stares at the way Kevin tries to breathe with his face red. He wants to strangle the man with his bare hands and bury him right in the middle of his yard. _But he can't._ He has something far more serious to do at the moment. So he pushes Kevin away, finally releasing him and the man falls down on the ground with the loud thump._ _

__"I'll come back." - He growls before turning around and going back to his bike. "If you want to live - get out of this town as fast as you can."_ _

__* * *_ _

The wild waves break through the bricked wall that stands high, holding up an old bridge. The sound of an ocean crashing onto the stones echoes through the darkness of the freezing night, swallowing everything around. Liam turns off an engine and gets off of the bike. He leaves the bike right in the middle of the road as he spots the small silhouette near the metallic railing of the bridge.

His breath gets caught in his throat, his chest feels heavy because he has no idea where Zayn was these two days, what has he been through. And it's all because of Liam. Of the way he broke Zayn's trust and walked over him. He doesn't want to startle the boy, so he starts to approach him slowly. 

Zayn is standing right on the edge, his one hand curled around the railing as the cigarette burns in other. He stares somewhere ahead into the ocean as his hair flows from the harsh wind. He is wearing nothing but Liam's hoodie and it breaks the man's heart. He must have been so cold during the night, when he had nothing to cover and protect him from the cold, harsh wind.

Liam stands in a few meters from Zayn, not being able to collect bravery and approach him to finally say something. But, before he tries to near him, Zayn notices Liam with the corner of his eyes.

Liam's breath hitches. Zayn huffs a humorless laugh and shakes his head as he looks away from Liam. He drags from the cigarette then and concentrates his gaze on the water underneath them.

"Let me guess. You've caught your rat." - Zayn says with the voice shaky from the cold. 

"Zayn,-" - Liam finally manages to crack. He approaches Zayn and stands right beside the boy. "Zayn, I'm so, so sorry."

"Don't." - Zayn shakes his head sternly.

Liam notices a purple bruise decorating the boy's neck, the one that hasn't been there before. His eyes grow wide and he reaches to trace it with his finger, but Zayn steps back and avoids him. Liam surrenders and drops his hand.

"What happened?" - He asks quietly and nods towards the boy's neck. Zayn stays quiet after his question and drags from the cigarette, inhaling the poisonous smoke. 

"I was in club last night, some guy gave me food for a blowjob and a chance to choke me." - He says with the numb voice.

Liam feels as if the ground disappears from under his feet.

"So, who was it?" - Zayn asks with the calm, emotionless voice that sends shivers down Liam's spine.

"Jordan." - He breathes out.

Zayn smirks and nods.

"Of course." - He whispers. He finally turns to look at Liam with empty eyes. "Pretty unfortunate, isn't it, Liam?"

"I'm sorry." - Liam chokes. "I don't deserve it, but please forgive me, Zayn. I should have never said those things to you, I-I was-"

"You know, I've thought if this bridge is high enough for jumping. If the force I'd hit the water underneath would be enough to snap my neck and kill me."

"Zayn," - Liam whimpers pathetically, but the boy ignores him completely as he continues to stare down at the water.

"Or maybe I'll drown. I don't know how to swim, so I'd probably choke on the salted water in a second."

 _"Please,-"_ \- Liam breathes shakily. He has never felt so desperate and broken. He never thought he'd be standing in front of someone, especially a young boy, begging for the chance of forgiveness. But here he is. "Please, let me take you home and take care of you. Zayn, I don't want to continue living without you, just please give me a chance help you."

"Do you really think I care, Liam?" - Zayn asks suddenly.

His voice breaks Liam's heart. It's full of pain and sadness and for the first time since he found Zayn, the boy shows him some kind of emotion. He looks destroyed, completely shattered and it kills Liam.

"Do you think I care about any of that?" - Zayn whispers. He throws the cigarette into the water with his shaky fingers and stares down as it falls into the waves. _"You've ruined me._

Liam doesn't even try to stop the flow of tears as they stream down his cheeks. 

"You made me want to live and then destroyed it, drowning me into the darkness once again." - Zayn breathes as his eyes fill up with unshed tears. "But you know what, Liam?"

"What?" - Liam dares to ask as he chokes on his tears. Zayn meets his eyes for a moment.

"It doesn't matter. Nothing does. Not anymore."

It happens in a blink of an eye.

Zayn pushes himself towards the railing, climbing it with his shaky legs as his fingers grip on the cold metal. Liam's head drowns in fog as he sees the movement in the slow-motion. The boy steps over the railing, still clutching on it with the full force. Liam bolts forward, finally snapping out of his trance and curls his arms around the boy's thin waist.

Zayn wiggles and struggles against his chest as Liam hauls him into his arms and drags him away from the edge of the bridge. He kicks and fights against Liam's hold, but the man is ten times stronger than he is. Liam pulls him towards himself and they both end up falling on the ground painfully. Liam's back meets the ground as Zayn lands right on top of him.

 _"No, no,-"_ \- Zayn sobs as he tries to get away from Liam, but the latter only holds him closer to his chest. "Let me go. Let me-You can't do this to me!"

"Please." - Liam whimpers, burying his nose into the boy's hair. "Please, don't. Please, stay with me."

"Let me go." - Zayn chokes, but his fighting grows weaker and weaker with every moment passing. He stops struggling against Liam, instead clutches on the man's leather jacket and lets out a heart-wrenching sob. "I hate you."

"I know." - Liam whispers. "I know you do. But please, please don't die. You deserve to live and-and be happy and grow old-"

"I hate you so much." - Zayn continues to sob in his arms. "I hate you. Hate you. You can't do this to me. I hate you."

He repeats his mantra of _I hate you_ as Liam embraces him, clutching on the boy like his life depends on it. And maybe it does. His quiet, shaky voice gets lost in the cold of the night and Liam tries to drown in it, because at least Zayn is alive. At least he's alive in his arms.

* * *

"Here. " - Liam puts his jacket over the boy's shoulders. Zayn is sitting on his bike, looking completely out of it with his bloodshot eyes and messy hair falling down his face. "It will keep you warm until we reach apartment."

Zayn blinks and continues to stare forward. Liam sighs quietly and kneels in front of the boy to reach his eye-level. 

"Zayn." - He calls the boy softly. He traces the edge of his jawline, the same way Zayn did the first night they've met. Zayn flinches slightly and his eyes finally meet Liam's. "Baby, I'm sorry." 

"Take me home." - Zayn whispers with a broken voice. 

_Home._ Liam tries not to think too much about it as he sits in front of Zayn and tells the boy to hold onto him not to fall from the bike. Zayn obeys, snaking his thin arms around Liam's broad chest. He puts his head on Liam's back gently and his hair tickles the nape of Liam's neck softly.

Liam pushes the pedal and unglues the tires off of the ground with the loud screech.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cuddles to u if u catch icarus fall’s cameos

Zayn is sitting on the edge of Liam's bed and he has never looked so small and vulnerable. His dark hair is falling down in messy curls, sending shadows on his angelic face. His amber-colored eyes are fixed on his fingers, long lashes fanning every time he blinks. Liam's leather jacket is still draped over his shoulders and it wells Liam's heart. 

He approaches the boy and sits beside him on the bed, mattress dipping under his weight. He takes the jacket off of the boy gently and runs a hand through Zayn's tangled curls. The boy leans in touch. He lets out a quiet sigh and closes his eyes. Liam is still feeling overwhelmed and nervous from what he has witnessed a few hours ago. He almost watched Zayn die. But the most surprising thing for him is the fact that he's seen a lot of people die. He has killed people himself, but none of those have left the same scar in his mind as Zayn's attempted suicide did. And even just a the thought of it sends shivers running down Liam's spine.

He leans forward a bit, burying his nose in Zayn's hair.

"You didn't have to." - He hears the boy's quiet whisper.

"Hm?" - He hums, not getting what Zayn implies to.

"You didn't have to save me. You-Just because you've already saved me once, back then in the streets, doesn't mean you have to always do it. You don't owe me anything, Liam."

The word's break Liam's already shattered heart. No, actually not words, but Zayn's tone does. Zayn speaks, as if he doesn't deserve saving from Liam. But the boy deserves the world and Liam needs Zayn to know it. He gently cups Zayn's face and forces him to look up at meet his gaze.

"I owe you." - He tells Zayn. The boy stares up at him with those huge eyes and Liam doesn't think he can filter his words because of them. "Zayn, you made me feel, after so many years filled with emptiness and lack of empathy. You came into my life, in a form of a beautiful boy with doe eyes and unbelievable eyelashes, and turned it upside down. Do you think I would let anything ever happen to you?"

"But I deserve it." - Zayn speaks with a shaky voice. "I-I'm a pathetic human being, Liam. I-"

"No,-" - Liam cuts the boy's words off by placing a kiss on Zayn's bitten lips. Zayn melts in kiss for a moment before Liam pulls away. "No, don't you dare to say those things about yourself. You are not pathetic. You are wonderful. You-You are beautiful and cute and you love cuddling, even though you hate to admit it. You adore comic books and superhero movies because secretly you're a bit of a nerd inside. You like Christmas lights, even when Christmas is months away. You love hot chocolate and prefer it over coffee or tea. You-You have a wonderful voice and you like to sing in the shower, when you think nobody can hear you. Zayn, you are a beautiful person and you deserve to have everything in this world. _Everything._ And I may not be the best or the kindest human out there, but I'm willing to give you whatever I can. And, trust me, I can give you a lot of things. But only if you let me, Zayn."

The boy blinks up at Liam with his eyes full of unshed tears and Liam knows he has broken through the facade. He broke through and finally touched Zayn's soul. He knows the words aren't enough to help Zayn, be he is ready to help the boy however he needs him to.

"I'm not a good guy,-" - Liam adds in a whisper. "But I know you're mine. You're my good guy, the one I needed my whole life."

Zayn's cold fingers find their way up into Liam's hair, tugging at it slightly as the boy pushes Liam's face down to meet his lips. Liam isn't sure he'll ever get used to Zayn's taste, the breathtaking, head-spinning one, but he's glad he gets to try. He slowly pushes the boy down on the bed, sitting on top of him with his legs each beside Zayn's thighs. He pushes his tongue deeper into Zayn's mouth, earning a moan that will haunt him in deepest dreams. 

The boy snakes his hands underneath Liam's t-shirt, scratching slightly on his skin and Liam isn't sure his lungs remember how to work properly, because Zayn is beautiful, amazing and so _fucking sexy._

"Zayn,-" - He breathes between the kisses. "Zayn, angel,-"

Zayn whimpers when Liam finally forces himself to pull away for a second and look down at him.

"Tell me." - Liam rasps. The sight underneath him is boiling blood in his veins. Zayn looks destroyed from Liam's kisses as he stares up at the man with dilated eyes. "Come on, babe, tell me."

"Please." - Zayn lets out a quiet whimper and pushes his crotch upwards to get some friction and touch Liam. 

"Please, what? I need you to tell me, angel." - Liam tells him with a voice full of lust.

Zayn meets his eyes finally. He licks his red, plump lips and blinks hazily, his eyelashes flattering like the wings of a butterfly.

 _"Fuck me, Leeyum."_

A growl escapes from somewhere deep in Liam's throat as he charges forward and captures Zayn's lips once again.

The night drowns the city in its' embrace. But this time, Zayn isn't all alone, strolling outside in the streets with a gun hidden in his pocket and heart broken into pieces. He is laying on Liam's bed, with the man that adores him kissing his lips.

Maybe it was not such a bad idea to steal that fucking gun and run away. Maybe it was all worth it.

 

* * *

A man dressed in expensive brown suit and shiny leather shoes sits down on the chair. His blonde hair is swiped back and thick, black glasses sit on the bridge of his nose. He puts a small suitcase on the table in front of him and.

"Finally." - Corners of his lips tug in blood-freezing smile. "After all these years - we meet. Face to face."

The Sun is setting behind the windows. The city seems unusually quiet today, as if it waits for something to end. Something, that has been going on for years.

"Liam Payne." - The man's cold voice continues. He leans back in the chair and smirks. "A man of many legends. King of an underworld. I'll admit though, I personally always thought of you as of one small, lost boy."

Liam chuckles and nods slowly. He crosses arms on his chest and stares at the man in front of him.

"Always thought you'd look a bit more intimidating, Snake." - He says with a small shrug. 

The man kisses his teeth, smile drops from his face as the words leave Liam's mouth. He straightens in his seat and clears his throat.

"You know why I'm here." - He tells Liam. 

"Well, technically, you're here to make a deal with me. To buy a club I own in suburbs of Singapore, and you should have money tucked perfectly in that suitcase." - He nods towards the man's bag. "But here's a problem, Snake-"

Liam leans forward, bringing his face closer to the man he despised so much through the years. He can see Harry and Louis guarding the doors behind the man, while Niall stands behind Liam with a loaded pistol and twisted grin.

"You're a Mamba. You're two-faced, pathetic piece of shit and you think you can fool me and my men." - Liam hisses, staring right into the man's eyes, whose expression changes from calm to anxious. "You think you can come here, with a suitcase loaded with fake money and try to kill or hurt my people. But let me tell you something,-"

Liam charges up from his seat, grabbing a gun from his pocket and aiming it right at shocked Snake.

"We're ready. We're always fucking ready to squeeze the life out of some snakes."

Before he can add anything, a loud, brain-piercing noise fills up the room as the windows shatter and pieces of glass get spread all around them. Liam ducks down, gun never leaving Snake's face. He can see people barging into the room from windows and a door, but almost all of them get knocked out or shot by Harry, Louis and Niall.

Almost, meaning Snake, who's still under his aim and one man, who managed to escape the boys' bullets and is now running straight at Liam with his gun pointing upwards. 

"Fuck, the bastard's gonna shoot him!" - Harry snarls, as he tries to fight down another guard who attacked him. 

But he's wrong. The bastard's not going to shoot Liam, or anyone else. Actually, the bastard's brains got blown out just a few seconds ago. His body falls down with a loud thump, echoing around the room as it drowns in silence.

Liam's lips tug up in smirk as recognizes the familiar un-missing aim and head-piercing shot. With the corner of his eyes, he sees a man, much smaller than him, standing beside Liam with a gun in his one hand and an unlit cigarette in another. Snake's eyes grow wide from confusion and anger, his face twists furiously.

"Got a light?" - Zayn asks Liam and the question makes Liam laugh, as that's the first thing Zayn has ever said to him. 

_"You brought a kid on a fucking deal?!"_ \- He yells at Liam. "How pathetic, even for you! You are nothing, Liam Payne! Nothing at all!"

Zayn places a small kiss on Liam's cheek, earning a glance from the man. He blinks his eyes in a perfectly learned way, as he does every time he needs something from the man.

"Can I?" - He asks Liam.

Liam sighs and chuckles under his breath.

"Go ahead, angel."

Zayn doesn't break an eye-contact with Liam as he lifts his gun and shoots Snake right in the middle of his forehead. The man doesn't even get time to scream. His body falls down on the floor like a bag of bricks, taking down the Mambas' name with him.

Zayn puts the gun away into the pocket of his ( _Liam's_ ) leather jacket and smiles up at the man.

"Let's go home." - He tells Liam. Liam nods and leans down to place a small kiss on top of the boy's lips. The sweet taste of _berries_ he found months ago under the _rain_ crawls inside his soul. 

"I love you, Rainberry." - He whispers to Zayn. The boy smiles knowingly and kisses him back with no hesitation.

_Yeah, let's go home._


End file.
